Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I intend to get homeless drunk
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
