Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
