dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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