Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
