she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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