There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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