God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
