Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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