Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
