i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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