she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
