wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
