so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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