haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize