I'm lost and stupid without you.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
