a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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