You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
