yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
