'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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