Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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