I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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