Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
