i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize