my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
