Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
