that's an acceptable place to lick
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's rum buckets o'clock
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
