Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize