quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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