I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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