No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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