The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
