Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
