I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize