In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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