Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
His hands were made for my vagina.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
