***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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