I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize