Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
so much tequila, so little girl.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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