It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
