yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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