my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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