I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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