It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize