chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
