i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
...so i touched it.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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