Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
