If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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