take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
