everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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