At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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