She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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