I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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