I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize