She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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