thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
is it fun? or sober?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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