Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
