I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize