Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
