I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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