counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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