So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
