I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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