Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize