So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
