11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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